i’m NOT your mother…

And for that matter, I’m not Dusty’s stepmother or guardian, either. Could somebody please inform that crazy animal? Come to think of it, I hereby relinquish being godmother to the kittens, if it’s going to result in this. Several friends of mine can tell you that a cat better not come near me when I’m asleep, or trying to go to sleep. The only thing that saved her was the mosquito netting.

My alarm goes off at 6:30 am, and I like to get my full allotment of sleep. Yesterday morning, I was sound asleep, when I heard a meow, right next to my ear… and I jumped several feet in the air. I was so bleary, I couldn’t figure out where she was, but I was already hissing at her (couldn’t wake the house up, you know) to shut up and get out. I got all tangled up in my mosquito netting, trying to get out of my bed and deal with that cat, and finally realized she’d been up on my nightstand.

Now, only one time has she come up to my room when I was asleep, and that was right after the kittens were born. I’m pretty sure I was alone in the house, at the time. That doesn’t make me feel any better about being woken up, of course. If I hadn’t had to go to the bathroom, I’d have shut my door and gone back to sleep. So, fuming, with smoke practically coming out of my ears, I still was nice enough to let Dusty outside to do her business. If that mosquito netting hadn’t been in my way (or hers), she’d have gotten on the bed, and probably gotten thrown for her efforts.

I’m actually wondering, now, whether she was meowing the whole time she walked towards the bed, and I just slept through it. The image that actually comes to my mind is of her creeping up to the bed, hopping on the nightstand, and then meowing loudly. Just to see the crazy sleeping human jump out of her skin. I don’t suppose cats are mean like that?

I told Mrs. B and one of the girls about it, after they woke up (see, wasn’t I nice, unlike that blasted cat?), and they thought it was hilarious. Which is fine. But Mrs. B says that Dusty used to come wake them up, if she couldn’t wait until morning. But she must think I’m her mom, to have switched to me. Which is ridiculous, considering they raised her from kittenhood, and all I did was stand by her while she was giving birth. It’s not like I actually DID anything.

But no, she was a whiny cat before pregnancy, and I think she’s whinier since then. No, she’s not in heat, there’s a different sound to that. I swear, though, she thinks you should fill her bowl after she’s had a few nibbles. If she complains to me when there’s food in her dish, I ignore her and tell her to bug off. Whinging doesn’t impress me when the kids do it (ok, I don’t tell them to bug off), and it certainly doesn’t impress me when an animal does it.

Before you think I’m an animal hater, please understand, I’m not. Some of my friends think that, because I don’t fawn over their pets. But I like well-behaved animals that don’t jump up on you or order you around. I don’t like it when animals think they rule the roost. So, I’m more likely to ignore your badly trained (or extremely spoiled) dog, or your snooty cat. Besides, the cat already has too good an opinion of itself, it doesn’t need any encouragement. And I don’t find their purring comforting, so they better stay away from my bed, especially. Most cats that I’ve met, they live to get you to serve them. Oh, there’s truth to the joke about dogs thinking you (the human) are God, and cats thinking they (the animal) are God.

So, I was on speaking terms with Dusty, when I arrived here, but didn’t pay her any extra attention until she got pregnant. Sure, I gave her some lectures about being promiscuous (which she ignored), but I took good care of her. Now, she follows me around and tries to get me to do things for her, all the time. Some people find it odd that when I’m in their homes, their pets (especially the dogs) will follow me around (ok, not ALL of them). I don’t pay them any attention if they’re jumping all over people and making a ruckus… and yet, they still take a liking to me. Must be all my inner charm.

Now, I’ve watched a lot of The Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan, so maybe I’m accidentally doing it right. Some of the time. But then, I still resort to yelling at them (dog or cat) when they don’t do as they’re told, rather than try and convince them I’m the pack leader. Gotta work on that. Yes, I know they don’t actually understand me. Do you have a pet? How often do you remember that your dog doesn’t speak English (aside from the words WALK or EAT)?

Back to the cat issue… I’m looking forward to getting my window AC unit, this week. Not just because it’ll feel great, but as soon as I have it, I can keep my door shut and not suffocate in the heat. And then, Dusty won’t be able get me to let her out for a midnight potty break. Ha HA. So there.

Oh, and per the pictures, I have to admit that I was just as sorry for Dusty, as everyone else was, after Sadie gave her a haircut. But now, I have no pity. Dreadful, aren’t I? But to keep the rest of the household (people, animals, Barbies) safe, I ask my girl DAILY, “What are we allowed to cut with scissors?”. And every day since then, she tells me, “Only paper”. Good girl.

6 thoughts on “i’m NOT your mother…

  1. I get that early morning MEOW too at times. I keep my door closed at night but at times my cat comes sit right outside the door at 5 or 6 in the morning and he’ll start meowing loudly till I wake up to open the door for him! He likes to sleep on the rug next to my bed. It really is annoying at times and he is the first cat I’ve seen who meows sooo loudly!
    And my doggies do get a lot of yelling from me, I simply don’t know how to make them understand that they are not supposed to jump all over me. I get really mad at them but I still love them! πŸ™‚

    And how come Dusty let Sadie give her a haircut? πŸ™‚

    • I’m not sure about the haircut. She’s a Ragdoll breed of cat, so she’s very easygoing. The little girls can get away with just about anything, and she won’t scratch. So, I don’t know if Dusty didn’t realize what was happening, or if Sadie just had too good a grip on her. I could HEAR the results when her older sisters discovered what she did, but don’t actually know how it happened. : ) Any other cat probably would’ve clawed her, but not Dusty.

    • Yeah, my boss keeps saying we need a cat door. But usually, Dusty’s pretty good about doing her business before we go to bed (some of us stay up late), and then waits until first thing in the morning. It’s like she suddenly forgot how to hold it, these last few days. She found my door shut, the next time she tried it, and went and woke my boss up, instead. If I had to go that bad, I wouldn’t go looking for the person on the 2nd floor, the people on the 1st would be good enough for me! : )

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